Tuesday, August 10, 2010

My Bucket List....with updates, accomplishments, and a side note.

It's almost 10pm...Tuesday. Nick should be getting off work soon. It's quiet here. I'm lying on the couch looking at the frame we made for the baby. Its a card I got from winning a give away on an AWESOME blog of a blog friend of mine. Shannon has a new blog now, named, Eat, Pray, Love, Live! and she is a follower of me. You should check out her blog if you have time. She is one AWESOME lady.

Anyway because of her, and her blog, the arbor day foundation planted ten trees in honor of my lost little one. I looked down at todays date and for the umpteenth time realized it was the tenth. I don't like that number now...neither do I like the first for similar reasons...you can imagine the emotional confusion on my birthday. Anyway...I realize again its the 10th, which only means I'm FOUR months away from what was supposed to be my due date. Barf.

But realizing that, made me also realize that December is knowingly going to be hard for me. Even after my due date has come and gone, Christmas I will be a wreck thinking of all the things I should be doing with a newborn thats not here. Gosh that kills me.

I've been really emotional lately about all of this, and I'm not entirely sure why, only thing I can figure is just the stress of it all finally catching up with me.  I made up my mind to do something about it. Hopefully, soon, I will be meeting with a...yikes, THERAPIST, to talk it out and see where my tears and anxiety keep stemming from.  But within that big choice and change I made the realization that this new year will truly be a changing year for me. My due date will be behind me, my wedding will be months away and I really will be getting a fresh start. So in honor of this, I decided to dig up my old Bucket List, to see what I've accomplished and if anything needs edited or if my sentiments have changed...

Without further ado..."The List"

1. Graduate with high honors from Shippensburg University
Graduated, Suma Cum Laude, May 07

2. Get my own apartment after graduation, either by myself or with a friend that can help with expenses.
Accomplished three times over, now renting a condo with my Fiance! :)

3. Establish good credit.
Got to check it for free, everything I have is in the green!

4. Meet the man God has intended for me to spend my life with and marry him.
We're halfway there...I got engaged to the man I believe God chose for me on Valentines Day 2010. We will be married May 7, 2011. Less than Nine months from Now!!!

5. Become a kindergarten teacher.
Not yet, but I have subbed in Kindergarten and I hope to go back to subbing and maybe eventually find a teaching job after Nick and I are married, that way I have stable benefits. For now, I enjoy my job as a preschool teacher with Headstart. I am important. I pave the way FOR kindgergarten. I make sure they're ready.

6. Have a nice home with my husband that is all of my own interior design.
Not yet, but we do have a condo that my fiance and I have decorated.  Eventually WE will have a home. So this one is in italics too so i see it needs done.

7. Lose weight and get in shape.
UGH, this is SUCH an ongoing battle. Everytime I lose weight, I gain it back again. And now after a pregnancy, its just that much harder...:(

8. Have my own garden in my backyard complete with lots of flowers, trees, a hammock and maybe even a pond.

9. Own two dogs.
I have one dog, named Lexi. She is an adoreable Chiuaua/Pomeranian/Jack Russel/Pug mix and I lover her to DEATH. I can't have her in my condo though. Someday, in our home. We will have two.

10. Join a Hip/Hop dance class

11. Have between 2-4 children.
This one stings. I consider myself a mother, but yet...I have no physical children to show for it. One day I will get my sticky rainbow baby(ies)...I swear I will.

12. Visit Ireland

13. Sing in front of my whole church.
It's amazing how much more confident I am with my singing and my voice. I really enjoy blessing people with my talent, although stage fright does occasionally take over. However this goal has been accomplished.

14. Take vocal lessons.
I almost did this...who knows maybe one day I still will.

15. Volunteer at a home for unwed mothers and their children.
I still want to volunteer at maybe a soup kitchen or women's shelter somewhere, but I'm not sure how to start that...maybe I'll look into it soon.

16. Learn to cook beyond the things I already know.
This is one of those goals, I'm not sure will ever be fully realized, only because the more I learn about cooking and baking, the more I want to know. I love it. I've gotten good, but could be better, so for now, I'm leaving this one italicized.

17. Pay off all my loans.
Ha...work in progress.

18. Get a Subaru WRX.

19. Be a good friend.

20. Visit the Butterfly Conservatory.
I think when I originally wrote this I meant the new one in Hershey? If its still there next year around peak season, I will go, and I WILL take my sister, my Mom and Hailey-Rose, and hopefully Melanie and Raelynn will be able to come too!

21. Volunteer in the NICU at the hospital.
York Hospital used to have a program where you could be a volunteer and come in and hold babies in the NICU- I think it was called touch therapy or something. But with stricter regulations now, moving to a new place and the baby loss, I'm not sure anymore that this one is possible.

22. Take a road trip.

23. Go to the Beach!
I honestly don't remember the last time I went to the beach. I can't wait to go sometime.

24. Visit Assateague Island
I've always wanted to see the wild ponies. This can work with the one above lol!

25. Go on a cruise to an island in the Carribean.

26. Set up a retirement fund.

27. Be the best mother I know how to be.

28. Pay my Mom back.
While I'm slowly working on paying my Mom back, she is one of the most giving and generous people I know. I'm not sure I'll ever completely be able to repay everything she's done for me. I love you Mom.

29. Impress everyone at my first high school reunion.
We didn't have a five year, so hopefully, I can do this at our ten year, in 2013.

30. Set up savings accounts to help my children go to college.

31. Be healthy and happy as much as possible.
Still workin on it...but tryin, none the less....

32. Start a journal of Praise to God thanking him each day.

33. Swim with Dolphins.

34. Be a great wife.

35. Go on a hot air balloon ride.

36. Adopt a child from overseas.

37. Write more.
I think I've got a pretty good start with this blog...we shall see what happens!

38. Create a scrapbook documenting my life that I am proud of.

39. Start a scrapbook for each of my children the day they are born to be given to them the day they turn 18.

40. Visit Shippensburg University with my children, and other colleges of their choice.

41. Learn how to create a budget for my household and become better at saving money.

42. Learn how to drive a stick shift.

43. Still be vibrant and active when I am over 60.

44. Take acting classes and possibly audition for a few shows.
I graduated from Barbizon Modeling school where I learned a lot about acting. I was told I was one of the best, they really wanted me to go to IMTA to be seen by scouts...but I didn't have 5 grand. Maybe I'll look around here and see if I can find some community theaters...I know there is one in Mechanicsburg.

45. Visit a dermatologist about my skin.

46. Design the most amazing nursery for each of my kids.

47. Go back to school for my masters either in ESL or Early Childhood.

48. Meet Billy Ray Cyrus.
I still can't believe I accomplished this. I've seen him in concert TWICE at the American Music Theater in Lancaster, once when I was around 20 I believe-FRONT row, and again with my sister just last year.

49. Publish my poetry.
I still can't believe I accomplished this one either. But thanks to Poetry.com, one of my poems is now published in a book. The book is titled Forever Spoken. It features many poems that were submitted, but still, I'm a published author!


^ Copy and paste this link into your URL to see the book on Amazon.com

50. Drive a classic antique car.

51. Go to a Nascar race with my Daddy.

52. Go on my Church's camping retreat.
Accomplished..oh the memories!! :)

53. Visit California.

54. Finally experience travel on a plane.
Accomplished when I flew to Florida and Washington.

55. Go to a movie premiere.

56. Go to a Coyote Ugly bar.

57.Visit New York City again.

58. See "The Blue Man Group" perform.

59. Attend and perform at an Open Mic Night.

60. Go to Austraila

61. See STOMP

62. Visit Florida again with Nick. He's never been on a Plane or to Disney World. 

63. Go to the gym regularly
I start going, and then I always stop. Hopefully I can change that soon.

64. Develop my interests in photography
This is starting to be accomplished. I just want to take a few classes to expand on what I'm already good at and get a better camera.

65. Instill values, morals and respect in my children.

66. Succeed as a stay at home mom.

67. See the Ball Drop from Times Square in NY

68. Kiss in the rain

69. Make snow angels with my children

70. Visit a talent agency
Barbizon Modeling and Talent Agency.

71. Be on a Game Show.

72. Visit Myrtle Beach

73. Try out for a show at York Little Theater
Accomplished. Tried out for Grease but didn't make the show due to the fact that I would miss a week of rehersals due to going to Florida as a Nanny.

74. Sing Karaoke at a bar.

75. Get one of those plaster of paris belly mold's done when I'm pregnant.

76. Work or volunteer with my church.
Accomplished several times over.

100. Be thankful for the time I have on this Earth and the things that I have.


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Our Journey towards Making a Family

Long Version : Our Journey Blog Post
Go here to learn about how we got our start..and where we are now!

Short Version:
11-28-2008- Started Dating

2-14-2010- Got Engaged :)

4-3-2010- First Positive Test- Baby 1 due 12/10/10

5-1-2010- Miscarriage at 8wks2days

12-10-2010- Estimated Due Date for Baby 1

5-5-2011- Second Positive Test- Baby 2 due 1-12-12
5-7-2011- We are Married!! :)
5-14-2011- Miscarriage at 5wks2days

6-16-2011- Repeated Pregnancy Loss blood work
6-23-2011- HSG looks good!
6-23-2011- dx positive ANA- Anti Nuclear Antibodies

07-05-2011- Rheumatologist Appointment
7-11-2011- dx Low Vitamin D levels. Start Prescription Vitamin D and baby aspirin

09/2011- Officially No Longer Preventing

10/5/11-First cycle Actively Trying. AF shows up

11/21/11-Celiac Bloodwork Negative, Vit D still lower than normal, start another prescription. Continue prenatals with Vit. D as well

01-12-12-Estimated Due Date for Baby 2
01/12-Vit D in normal range, start over the counter Daily Calcium with Vit D supplement per Rhuematologist.

2/15/12-Appt with new Ob who is more proactive with Progesterone Testing-suspects progesterone issues.

2/15/12- 5/9/12-Stop trying and start new charting method (Creighton) to watch for hormone imbalance.