Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Wordless Wednesday

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Down Three Pounds

Well, fellow bloggers,

I can hardly believe it but I am down three pounds. As of today, I have successfully cut soda and Iced Tea out of my diet! I am watching my portion control, and am doing better with not over eating.

I have been trying to drink more water, but that is still a goal I am working on. 

I have also started to drink Green Tea which is better for you and is supposed to help with your metabolism. I have to be careful to stop drinking it by 6 so that I can take my prenatal vitamins that the doctor wants me on for future children.

The Green Tea affects the body's ability to absorb folic acid. I would have never known that without my ladies at Love that place!

Every once in a while, I still allow myself a small cheat like a glass of strawberry or chocolate milk or lately, some mini Reese's PB eggs. I think allowing myself to have these small items quenches my snacking urge and also helps tremendously because I don't feel like I'm starving or giving up the things I love.

Thank you to everyone for their support. Please continue to keep holding me accountable and lifting me up in your prayers! Thank You!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Monday, April 11, 2011

Making a Change

I've decided to really try and make a change. I really want to lose weight. I know I need to exercise and I know I need to watch what I eat. Please help me stay accountable! :)

For now I'm going to post every day to help keep me on track, but eventually I'll probably post once a week.

Today- Down two pounds from last weigh in.

Had fresh fruit at breakfast
Only drank one soda
Walked 1/2 a mile

Wasn't very hungry at breakfast and overate at lunch and dinner because I was starving by then
Pants are very tight

Tomorrow's goal-
Work out for 30 minutes
Drink more water
Watch portion control


Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Cue Soapbox

"God counts the tears of the hurt. The woman came out of a man's rib, not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved."

I am So BLESSED to have a loving and honest fiance! I pray EVERY day that God continues to bless and strengthen our relationship. I love Nick SO very much and I am so very grateful for everything he has done. I really do love him to the depths of my soul.

My heart is hurting for many dear families right now...broken and bruised by's just not right. Why do people cheat/lie? WHY?

What the H3LL is wrong with people? Why do they think it's okay to cheat, lie, just drop their families?
So pissed that I've seen so many families destroyed in the past few months. Sometimes it's the fault of one or the other, sometimes its the fault of both.

I know every relationship has it's problems..but in my heart, soul, I believe there are just some lines you DO NOT CROSS.

And no amount of forgiveness, prayer, or holy water is going to make sleeping with someone else or sending dirty texts OK.  Marriage MEANS something people!!!

I really pray that this country gains some freaking morals...

Sunday, April 3, 2011

One Year Ago Today...

Let's back track a bit before I tell you about a year ago today.

I kind of knew something was off, a bit before this day. I was exceptionally tired. My acne on my face was strangely absent. I hadn't seen my face that clear in months. My chest was so painful I could barely sleep on my stomach. But, I had cramps. I thought my cycle would start on time.

A few days later, I ate a peanut butter and jelly uncrustable and felt like throwing up.  I kind of shook it off as weird and didn't think anything else of it.  Later, I ate a reese's peanut butter cup on the way to see family in Nick's car. The nausea was so bad I had to put the windows down and had my head in my hands.

It was that day I joked with Nick that I thought I might be pregnant. Nick said, "You always think you're pregnant. I'm sure you'll start your cycle soon." My body has a tendency to mask a lot of symptoms before my cycle starts so I figured he must be right.

When I woke up Saturday April 3rd and still didn't have my period I took a digital test. Nick was sleeping. After a few minutes, I read the unmistakable, "Pregnant" in the screen. I started laughing and saying Babe....I told you so!"  He looked at me dazed, and said, "What?" I answered, "I told you I was pregnant!" And showed him the screen. He laughed and just looked at me. I was so excited, I didn't know what to do.  Nick looked at me and said, "I'm going back to bed". But as we fell asleep he wrapped his arm around my stomach and I couldn't stop smiling.

Later that day, we met my Dad and his girlfriend Nicole for lunch at Texas Roadhouse in York. I had never met her before and I wanted the day to be about our meeting not about such drastic news. Plus I wanted to wait until I had a confirmed blood test from the Doctor before I told my Dad. I was worried about how he would take the news.

At Texas Roadhouse, a baby kept looking at me, smiling and talking. Nicole mentioned that the baby seemed really comfortable towards me and the conversation of kids came up. Nick wanted me to tell everyone, but I was so scared and I just wasn't ready. I remember being glad it was lunch time so I didn't have the chance to feel awkward for turning down a drink. You don't think to worry about whether or not you'll ever see someone alive again. Little things seem so silly now.

I never realized how that day would not turn out the way we thought.  Once we got the positive bloodwork we made plans to have my dad come up for a late birthday dinner. My Dad's birthday is April 6th.  I had bought a blue onesie with tools on it that said grandpa's little helper. I had plans to make my dad's favorite cake and give him this as his present, to kind of make the presentation a little easier.  Nicole caught bronchitis really bad, and they were unable to come up. Soon after that, my dad had to go to Kentucky for classes for work. Shortly after he got back, I miscarried and just didn't know how to say..."I was pregnant, but now I'm not." So I just...didn't say anything.

We were also dealing with my grandmother's illness and death around this time. It felt as if there were much more important things to deal with than my pregnancy.  Crazy, I know. So I never told most of my family. 

When my Dad got back from Kentucky, he left almost immediately for what was supposed to be a vacation with Nicole. He never got there. He was hit on his motorcycle. On Father's Day. And Tragically, Nicole was killed.  Shortly after, Nick's grandfather passed away. Worst three months of my life. The next few weeks aren't going to be easy.

Thankfully, I have wedding planning to keep my mind off of things, but I'm still kind of struggling. Please keep me in your prayers. And as always, comment here please, not on facebook. This is the first time I've ever written this out, and many family and some friends still do not know.

Sometimes I imagine that the baby, my grandmother, Nicole and Nick's grandfather, all up there together watching over us. Sometimes, it's just too hard. <3

Our Journey towards Making a Family

Long Version : Our Journey Blog Post
Go here to learn about how we got our start..and where we are now!

Short Version:
11-28-2008- Started Dating

2-14-2010- Got Engaged :)

4-3-2010- First Positive Test- Baby 1 due 12/10/10

5-1-2010- Miscarriage at 8wks2days

12-10-2010- Estimated Due Date for Baby 1

5-5-2011- Second Positive Test- Baby 2 due 1-12-12
5-7-2011- We are Married!! :)
5-14-2011- Miscarriage at 5wks2days

6-16-2011- Repeated Pregnancy Loss blood work
6-23-2011- HSG looks good!
6-23-2011- dx positive ANA- Anti Nuclear Antibodies

07-05-2011- Rheumatologist Appointment
7-11-2011- dx Low Vitamin D levels. Start Prescription Vitamin D and baby aspirin

09/2011- Officially No Longer Preventing

10/5/11-First cycle Actively Trying. AF shows up

11/21/11-Celiac Bloodwork Negative, Vit D still lower than normal, start another prescription. Continue prenatals with Vit. D as well

01-12-12-Estimated Due Date for Baby 2
01/12-Vit D in normal range, start over the counter Daily Calcium with Vit D supplement per Rhuematologist.

2/15/12-Appt with new Ob who is more proactive with Progesterone Testing-suspects progesterone issues.

2/15/12- 5/9/12-Stop trying and start new charting method (Creighton) to watch for hormone imbalance.