Well today was my official testing day. I've been getting negatives for a few days but the absence of my typical early spotting had me hanging on to some sorta hope.
But a slight temp drop and spotting this morning confirms that this was not the cycle. I know this was the first month we actually tried so I don't know why I got my hopes up. But I did. It would have been so nice to get a bfp for christmas.
I'm sad, really sad actually. But I'm also very blessed. And I can't forget that. It could be worse. I have an amazing husband, loving family and friends, and we are not struggling to pay for bills and presents like some this Christmas season. My heart and prayers go out to them.
As for me, my focus is on the real reason for the season. Thank you God for everything.
January brings a new year and another chance to try. It also brings with it hope and a promise for new and better things. Parts of 2011 were pretty wonderful, and I'm ready to see how Gods gonna top it.
I love you Nick. Thank you for being my rock. And thank you also to the family and friends who can pick me up at my worst and support me in my best. I love you!