Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Wordless Wednesday

Check out the awesome site where I found this picture within a picture, Dear Photograph, dedicated to taking old pictures and placing them in their new modern world. Such a cool concept!

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Music to Remind Me to Breath....

I am coming out of lurkdom for a few seconds because I've had quite a few things happen to me, that kind of woke me up a bit...

I'm feeling a lot better. My husband and I talked about the fact that we definitely believed in God and we are still praying..and a good friend helped me remember that it was okay to be angry at him and that he could take it. If you are reading this, Thank You. I do plan to call you sometime soon, I've just been distracted. Then when I remember it's too late.

I've always had a huge connection to music. You could preach at me for an hour and a half and it won't register and then you sing one worship song and it will touch my soul and have me crying.  I spent a long time in prayer last night. I was angry at God and told him so. I told him I wanted a specific sign that I, my relationship, EVERYTHING was going to be okay.

We got in the car and opened the mail to a beautiful, thoughtful card from a dear friend....with a butterfly on the front. The well thought, heartfelt message made me cry and the fact that she took the time to send a card and check on us..I can't even tell you. I didn't even tell her what was going on with us...she saw it on here. I love that she reached out to us in that way. It meant the world.

Then, as we were driving back home from running a few errands we passed an old abandoned store front. This store front is in the middle of our town. We drive past it constantly! But today I happened to look over at the storefront. There, in the window, was a sign. It just said,

It Can Get Better.

Wow. Okay, yeah I'm listening. I don't know what God has in store for us, but I have to believe there is purpose in all of this and that he is holding us in his arms.  Later tonight I stumbled across a blog with some just resonated with me. It brought me back to that sign. I don't know what his plan is...but from here on out I need to remember, It can get better!  I will leave you with some youtube songs that I've needed lately.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Guest Post and a Give Away!

Hello, everyone!
As you all know, I'm going through a bit of an emotional time right now. I promise I'll be back, but I'm taking a break for a few days to clear my head.  
Before I go though...I was recently contacted by a company known as Eden Fantasys. I am so excited to be working with them! Please know if you access the website, it is Adult friendly and probably not safe for your typical 9 to 5 ;)  As I continue to post for them, I promise everything will be done as tastefully as possible and presented in links rather than pictures here in the actual blog!
In honor of my newest influx of followers (32!), they are offering a 25 dollar gift card to one of my lucky readers!!!! 
To learn more about Eden Fantasy's and find out how you can get the gift on! 

My amazing friend Danielle from over at Flip Flop Reviews graciously agreed to do a guest post for me about the company. She is so amazing for letting me take the break that I need, and helping me still get this giveaway out to y'all! 

Hi! ::waves:: I'm Danielle, from Flip Flop Reviews. Nice to meet you all!

I have been a fan of EdenFantasys for a couple of months now, and since Lindsey knows I already know a bit about them, she asked me to introduce you all to them and what they're about. Then she has a little something special planned for you, so keep reading!

I wish I had known about EdenFantasys my entire adult life. They are awesome! I found out about them a few months ago when I won a gift certificate, and happily, clicked over to to browse their selection (please keep in mind that when you click a link to visit the EdenFantasys website that content there is meant for adults only).

I was happy to find that there really is something for everyone available at EdenFantasys. From wild, to romantic... you name it, they probably carry it. Candles, lingerie, bath and body products, toys... Plus, there is always a free gift with your order!   Who doesn't like a free gift? Their shipping is fast and discreet (plain boxes, with the return address listed as simply Web Merchant), and they state they will never send you unsolicited mail -- email or postal, so far in my own experience I have found that to be true. I have placed several orders with them and I am sure I will be placing many more in the future, I'm dying to get my hands on some of their corsets!

Above the great selection and fantastic customer service; (I have really put that to the test, read my experience here) what I really like about EdenFantasys is the community aspect of the site. You can find reviews (both written and video), helpful forums (with polls, discussions, questions, and answers), interviews, a book club, and the EdenCafe blog. At EdenFantasys they celebrate that sexuality can be expressed in many different ways. Their community members and contributors offer a wealth of information and education on topics relevant to sexuality and I personally found browsing their forums to be very interesting.

In short, I really recommend EdenFantasys and I encourage you to check them out!

To help you discover your fantasy, Some Sorta Fairytale and EdenFantasys are offering a $25 gift certificate to one lucky reader!

Giveaway ends on July 7th at 11:59 PM

Our mandatory entry is to follow Some Sorta Fairytale with Google Friend Connect, and comment back here letting me know that you do. ALSO, Do not forget to leave your EMAIL in EACH comment, that way I can reach you to let you know you have won! 

**For extra entries (comment back with what you do, one comment for each action):

Like me on Facebook!

Follow me on Twitter @NevaeHRae

Follow Flip Flop Reviews with Google Friend Connect

Visit EdenFantasys and tell me your favorite candle.

Blog about this giveaway and leave the link in a comment.

Follow me on Networked Blogs >See box on right side!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

My own version of "Break Even"

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing.

Praying to a God (I'm not sure I) believe in.

Cause when a heart breaks, it don't break even.

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me (won't come true).

I'm falling to pieces.

They say bad things, they happen for a reason.

But no wise word's gonna stop the bleeding.

(They're all) moving on, and I'm still grieving.

I'm falling to pieces.

Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break even.....

Actual Song HERE

Our Journey

Nick and I met and started dating on November 28, 2008.

Nick was working full time in Dillsburg and I was working in a childcare facility in Maryland. I quit my job in Maryland and began working at a Daycare in York City to be closer to him.We moved in together in February of 2009. Or I should say, I moved into his Mom's house, with him.
 We moved into our first apartment together in June of 2009, and our furbaby Lexi, came with us!

We lived in an expensive, TINY one bedroom apartment in Mechanicsburg.

A picture I took from our balcony at the apartment after a snow storm.
Nick and I both started New Jobs after our move. Nick continued to work part time at Dillsburg and also started working full time as a paramedic in the West Shore Area. In August of 2009, I started work full time as a Head Start preschool teacher in Harrisburg, PA. We got Engaged on February 14, 2010. It was amazing and is still one of my favorite memories.
 We found out we were expecting our first baby in late March/Early April 2010.  We went on our first REAL trip/vacation in Mid April 2010, with our best friends, who are now each other!
I miscarried for the first time on May 1, 2010. I was 8 weeks and 2 days along. The baby was due December 10, 2010.
In June of 2010, Nick and I moved yet again, this time to Carlisle. Nick transferred EMS stations and I VERY happily transferred classrooms. We love our spacious condo. Unfortunately, we had to leave Lexi with my Mom, as our new place does not allow pets. The move to Carlisle was good for both of us. We were less stressed, saving money and enjoying our new place. We were able to start wedding planning!

The view from our Condo :)

That summer was a hard one for Nick and I. After I miscarried, my grandmother passed away. Then, my dad was involved in a horrific motorcycle accident on Father's day. He barely survived and was very close to losing his leg. He is still mourning the loss of his girlfriend, Nicole, who was killed in that accident. We miss her terribly. While in NJ dealing with my father's accident, Nick's grandfather passed away.
Dad and Nicole. May she rest in Peace
Coming back from that tragic span of time was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I did it though, with lots of support from Nick, friends and family, and a few therapy sessions. It was really hard on Nick too, although he tries to stay strong for me, I know he struggles with feeling that everything feels so unfair.

On May 5th, 2011 Nick and I were surprised to find that we were pregnant again! I was very sick and we tried to believe that this pregnancy would stick.On May 7, 2011, Nick and I were married on an absolutely BEAUTIFUL day in an even more beautiful ceremony. I was sick and exhausted but enjoyed every minute! It will always be a favorite memory, obviously.
 On Friday the 13th, just six days later, I received a call from the doctor's office. My test results were back and I was indeed pregnant but my levels were very low and I was to prepare myself to miscarry.
On Saturday, May 14th, 2011, just a week after my marriage started, another pregnancy ended.

This time I was only 5 weeks and 2 days along, the baby was due January 12, 2012. With a second miscarriage, came doctor's appointments. (TMI Ahead, just warning you now...)  We were instructed to wait to try again until after 2 cycles had passed, to give my body time to heal. I have since had a ton of blood work done, and a procedure called an HSG. The HSG went great. My uterus looks great other than being slightly tipped forward, and my  fallopian tubes are a little thin. It wasn't painful really just uncomfortable and a little cramping on and off today.

My bloodwork on the other hand...not so much. It all came back normal...except for one test. One test came back positive for ANA -Antinuclear Antibodies.  This is almost certainly the cause of my miscarriages. It basically means that there is something going on with my Auto Immune System...It could be lupus or a host of other things, such as a clotting disorder...but basically the doctor thinks that my body is attacking my pregnancies like it would a splinter. It thinks it doesn't belong.

I have an appointment to see a rheumatologist on July 5th.  My hope is that with some medication and constant monitoring, we will eventually get our take home baby.

We are struggling emotionally. We are having trouble understanding why. Our faith is definitely not very strong...We know how blessed we are to have what we have...but being so blessed sometimes ends up being a very painful reminder of the one thing you're without.  We know that there is a plan in place...and it's just getting there....

I am very grateful to have my home, a loving and supportive husband, and a great family. Without that I don't know where I'd be or what I'd do. But please keep us in your prayers that we find a solution.
I will update this as we learn more...
Thanks for reading if you made it this far!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Dr/Mole Excision Update and HSG ?

First off, thank you to everyone who sent their thoughts and prayers about my mole excision. It wasn't bad at all. The worst part was the injection of the numbing meds. The doctor didn't use enough at first and I could feel things pricking me so he wanted to give me more. He injected the meds right into the exposed muscle....OW.

I made it through, and they decided to take only one of the two moles on my back to reduce scarring, at least until we get the pathology results back. I go back to the doctor on the 30th of July to get my stitches removed. If my results are back we will discuss then...if not, then they will call me and we go from there. I'm doing pretty good, other than being kind of sore. Changing the bandages hurts like a B!

In other news, I finally heard back from the Infertility Nurse today after leaving her probably a billion messages. I will be getting an HSG on Thursday. I have to be at the Hospital at 7 45 am, and the procedure will probably be between 20-30 minutes. I'm nervous about the pain, but I'm glad they are letting my husband come in the room with me. I think that will help tremendously.

I've heard a few stories about HSG's intensifying cramps or making infertility worse...has anyone else heard this????

I guess when it's all said and done, even though I'm nervous about the procedure, I'm kind of excited. I'm ready to hear back about my bloodwork and the HSG. I'm ready to fix whatever the problem may be and if there is no problem found, my doctor is willing to treat my progesterone. So in the end, I'm ready. I'm excited to finally have answers.

I miss my babies so very much...I have to believe that this will ALL be worth it and I will get my take home baby....eventually.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Dr's Appointments, Bloodwork...What's next?

Today I went to a doctor's appointment and found out that my cholesterol, specifically the bad one is a tad high. My triglicerides are normal but could stand to be a little lower as well. At my last appointment to check these everything came back normal but my good cholesterol was low.

I am going to go back on my prenatals which should help bring the levels down because of the Niacin in them. I am also going to do better with watching what I eat and trying to get more exercise. I am looking forward to being able to start going to the pool soon!

I also mentioned my Aunt's recent diagnosis of skin cancer to the doctor. I've had moles my entire life, and most of them haven't seemed to really change...but watching my aunt go through this was enough to scare me. I have some really dark moles on my back and the doctor is going to excise one to get a baseline biopsy done. My appointment is Monday at 10 50. The doctor seems pretty confident that I'm okay but I will feel so much better once I know that...

I also had my Repeated Loss Bloodwork done today. 5 nice size tubes after not eating and I was feeling pretty woozy. I am not sure when those results will be in but I can't wait to find out...knowing will be half the battle. I can't decide if I will feel better if there IS something wrong because then we can fix it and the losses have a reason...or if I will feel better if nothing's wrong....ugh who knows.

So at this point,
HSG- Needs to be scheduled, will be in the next 4 to 7 days if possible
Mole Excision- Monday at 10 50
Calling to inquire about bloodwork- Monday

Friday, June 10, 2011


I guess it's time I talk about this. I apologize in advance if it doesn't make any sense...I just need to get it out. p.s. it may also be your version of TMI...warning you all now.

Well, a while back we found out I was pregnant again, it wasn't expected at all, but we were very very excited. I was throwing up before I even found out, and continued to throw up almost every day since. I thought this was a good sign, but unfortunately I experienced another miscarriage. The baby was due January 12, 2012.

Unless you've been there, you can never understand what it's like to lose not one, but two babies (or more, as is the case with many :( ). You can't understand what it feels like to feel that there is something wrong with you, and you are incapable of keeping your babies safe. Unless you've been there you'll never understand completely, what it's like, to feel like you are letting down your spouse and causing more friction in your marriage than necessary. For those that do heart breaks for all of us.

Yesterday, my husband and I went to see my Obgyn. He was very understanding and supportive. I really like this new doctor. He is being very proactive and has really taken a personal effort with us. He is devoted to getting us a baby and wants the third time to be a charm. We talked about the normal stuff, how it's not my fault, that getting pregnant isn't my problem, it's staying that way. We have to wait two cycles to try again, that way if any of the tests come back positive, we can make an effort to fix them before we try to conceive. We should be able to try to conceive in August. They don't believe they'll need to do any testing on Nick, but are running the gamut on me. Thyroid, glucose, hormones, yadda, yadda. That's another thing someone who hasn't been there would never start feeling like a human pin cushion.

The doctor did an exam, and said everything looks good. At the end of the appointment he handed me a said Infertility Nurse on it. That hit me kind of hard. I just can't believe I've reached this point. It's not fair. It's not fair that some people have kids so easily, or when they're not ready. Here we are ready, financially capable, and dreaming of kids instead of having a 6 month old (WOW, I can't believe he'd be six months today...) and expecting another.

Once I get my first cycle after the miscarriage, I have to call the Infertility Nurse to schedule an HSG. It's this really long word that basically means I get a tube put into my uterus and dye shot into it to make sure things are the way they are supposed to be....I've heard it's pretty painful. Greaaaat.

At the end of the day, everything I go through will be worth it. If I could only have a healthy baby or two. I will do whatever it takes to get that. I would die for that. I'm going to try my best to stay positive. WHEN I get pregnant again, you can bet that I will love every moment. You can bet that I won't be complaining about one symptom. You can bet that everyday I will be thankful, because I know pregnancy is something to be cherished and I will remember what we went through to get there.

To my angels...I miss you. So very much...and I'm so very sorry. <3

Thursday, June 9, 2011


Today I joined a site called crowd tap. You can take surveys, write reviews, answer questions and participate in discussions, all while making a bit of a profit! A portion of your earnings will be donated to a charity of your choice and crowd tap will match all of your donations!

What a great way to get the word out about your blog, make some play money, and do good for a charity as well!

Best yet I get credit and earn 5 bucks for getting five friends to join with me! What are you waiting for, link up!


Tuesday, June 7, 2011

One Month

I love you so much.

Always & Forever


My Birthday "Wish List"

My Birthday is coming up, and I decided to do a little list of what I would love to get for my birthday. I in no way expect to get anything off this list so if I would it would be awesome!

I'm one of those people...I tend to think of others first. I do my best to make sure everyone is happy, drama and confrontation free. So for the next few minutes, I'm going to think about what I really want and make up a wish list for my birthday. Some things are attainable, some are not. Some are silly, some are expensive, some are simple.

The list is in no particular order.

1. A raise.

2. A promotion/ new job within my company- would help with number one!

3. To get pregnant and STAY that way.  

4. A trip to the BEACH!

5. Kay Jeweler's Dragonfly Necklace

6. Bed Bath and Beyond Zumba DVD Set
(Couldn't find it online, but saw it in the store the other day for 60 bucks!)

7. To be able to spend uninterrupted time with my Husband. <3

8. A Frozen Hot Chocolate from Dunkin Donuts.

9. To get and move into a New Townhouse.

10. To see the Lion King on Broadway.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Mixbook Review!


I recently received the opportunity to create my own photo scrapbook with Mixbook!
Read to the end, you won't regret it!

                                                            A page where I "Did my own thing" offers a unique opportunity to create photo books online. It's exactly like scrapbooking, but with a digital touch!

After creating a log in and password, Mixbook Users can jump right in with creating.  They have several options available.

                             Preset Page- I just changed the wording a bit and added a sticker in the middle

For those individuals that have never created a scrapbook before, or just lack the time to devote to creating on your own, Mixbook offers several styles of photo books already created! All you have to do is add your photos!

Those people that have scrap booked or might just want a little bit more of a personal touch, you can also start your mixbook from scratch!

I chose to start with a pre-made book, but then added my own personal touches by changing picture sizes, adding pictures, borders and tags, all provided for free by the site! I made a book celebrating my recent wedding, but they have general/lifestyle, baby, vacation themes and more!

                                                   Preset Page with Larger Photo option!

If you have chosen a theme/pre made book, you'll receive not only "reccommended stickers and tags" that go with the theme, but access to the all of the other sites tags and decorations as well!

I really liked that the site offered ideas, particularly because I had no idea where to start! There are lots of book sizes and options available as well! In exchange for this review, I received a 20 page soft cover book, you'll see the pictures of it throughout this post. The quality of this book is great! It is a sturdy, glossy style photo book and all of my picture choices came across very well!  Other choices are available such as hardcover books, books with more photo options and books with more pages!
                                                             Last Page, With Changed Text
Some of my other favorite aspects about mixbook:
  • They warn you when a photo you have chosen may not print properly. (Some of my photos said this and printed fine, others were a tad grainy/blurry but not enough to bother me)
  • If you chose to change a photo so that it prints correctly, you can add stickers, borders and more to "fill that empty space"
  • My wedding photobook theme included quotes! It saved so much time and effort not having to go look up love quotes to add to the book! And if I didn't like one or felt it wasn't the exact fit for my husband an I, I could easily go in and change it.
  • Even though it took me some time to get used to how to edit and change things, once I got the hang of the website, it was very user friendly, and had lots of support available! The site even offers Live Chat help available during business hours! 
Mixbook has a Facebook Page and can be followed on Twitter! Go Like Them!

Finally, Mixbook has given my readers a chance to create their own digital scrapbook using their site!
I only ask that you follow my blog in order to take advantage of using the coupon! :)

20% off discount code: TOMOSON20

No expiration date, but it can only be used once per customer.

                                                                        Back Cover
I received one or more of the products mentioned above for free using created by Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commissions 16 CFR, Part 255 Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising. Tomoson Product review & giveaway Disclosure.

Our Journey towards Making a Family

Long Version : Our Journey Blog Post
Go here to learn about how we got our start..and where we are now!

Short Version:
11-28-2008- Started Dating

2-14-2010- Got Engaged :)

4-3-2010- First Positive Test- Baby 1 due 12/10/10

5-1-2010- Miscarriage at 8wks2days

12-10-2010- Estimated Due Date for Baby 1

5-5-2011- Second Positive Test- Baby 2 due 1-12-12
5-7-2011- We are Married!! :)
5-14-2011- Miscarriage at 5wks2days

6-16-2011- Repeated Pregnancy Loss blood work
6-23-2011- HSG looks good!
6-23-2011- dx positive ANA- Anti Nuclear Antibodies

07-05-2011- Rheumatologist Appointment
7-11-2011- dx Low Vitamin D levels. Start Prescription Vitamin D and baby aspirin

09/2011- Officially No Longer Preventing

10/5/11-First cycle Actively Trying. AF shows up

11/21/11-Celiac Bloodwork Negative, Vit D still lower than normal, start another prescription. Continue prenatals with Vit. D as well

01-12-12-Estimated Due Date for Baby 2
01/12-Vit D in normal range, start over the counter Daily Calcium with Vit D supplement per Rhuematologist.

2/15/12-Appt with new Ob who is more proactive with Progesterone Testing-suspects progesterone issues.

2/15/12- 5/9/12-Stop trying and start new charting method (Creighton) to watch for hormone imbalance.