I'm out :(

Well today was my official testing day. I've been getting negatives for a few days but the absence of my typical early spotting had me hanging on to some sorta hope.

But a slight temp drop and spotting this morning confirms that this was not the cycle. I know this was the first month we actually tried so I don't know why I got my hopes up. But I did. It would have been so nice to get a bfp for christmas.

I'm sad, really sad actually. But I'm also very blessed. And I can't forget that. It could be worse. I have an amazing husband, loving family and friends, and we are not struggling to pay for bills and presents like some this Christmas season. My heart and prayers go out to them.

As for me, my focus is on the real reason for the season. Thank you God for everything.

January brings a new year and another chance to try. It also brings with it hope and a promise for new and better things. Parts of 2011 were pretty wonderful, and I'm ready to see how Gods gonna top it.

I love you Nick. Thank you for being my rock. And thank you also to the family and friends who can pick me up at my worst and support me in my best. I love you!

Wordless Wednesday

What Could have Been...

shameless plug...

So, I don't normally do stuff like this but today I have a favor to ask of you, my lovely readers out there. TLC is running a contest for a free honeymoon and I entered a photo to try and win.

If you could go here and vote for me, that would be just PEACHY! :)  You can vote once a day, every day. 

If you can't find it look under the heart warming section or search Lindsey A. The photo is this one:

Back story? My Dad was in a horrific accident on Father's Day and they weren't sure he'd live much less walk again.  His girlfriend was killed. It was a hard time for all of us. This picture was taken right after his surgeon, who agreed to come!!!, swapped out his two crutches for a cane. He walked me down so proudly and kept telling me to smile...not so easy Dad. Later he ended up dancing with me in a Father Daughter dance through the pain.  So amazing.

Other side note/shameless plug, my husband and I couldn't afford a honey moon and have yet to go on one.

And because I love him, and really the wedding was about us, a pic of the hubby and I <3

Groceries for Under $250/month!?

Personally, I think that Nick and I usually manage to not spend over 250 already each month for groceries, but I'm excited to view this ebook to learn some good tips and hints for budgeting...especially those months where we are getting a little "close" in our budgets and spending.

Ideas?

I'm trying to figure out how to celebrate my baby.

In a short 9 days, it will be the 10th and it will have been a year since my due date.

I'm supposed to have a one year old...I'm supposed to be celebrating my adoreable one year old son with all of my friends and family.

All I want is to be a Mom..to make my husband a daddy. And it kills me that that hasn't happened yet.
We're still trying, but it doesn't make this any easier.

I was wondering if anyone out there could give me some advice or ideas for how to celebrate the day a little bit. I really don't want to go through the whole day sad. I thought about releasing balloons or making a cake, but I think my husband has to work which means I'll most likely be alone for the day....

I need to do something...or I'll go crazy.

I miss you my little monkey. <3